Frontlines: The Latest from OutServe-SLDN
Mother’s Day
I can still remember the day we brought Darren home from the hospital. Six and a half pounds of pure joy. He was so vulnerable and dependent on my husband and me that I have to laugh when holding that memory up to the image of the young man he has grown into. Today, Darren is a decorated Army medic, a war veteran having deployed, twice, to Iraq. He is also a gay man who served under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
Like every mother whose child grows up to be a soldier, I worry. Will he come home in one piece? Will he come home changed? Will war expose him to things that no person should ever have to see? Every mother knows that their child is so much a part of her very being, our hearts, and we also know that we never quite get by the instinctive feeling of always wanting to protect them. Even when they are very capable grown men and women, this feeling never leaves us. We know we can’t protect them and we shouldn’t – so we worry. And because of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” I have the extra burden of worrying if today is the day that the men and women he has trusted with his life, and who in turn have trusted their lives to him, will kick him out of the military because he is gay?
Darren has been luckier than most, many of his colleagues know that he is gay and do not care. Much of his command structure know that he is gay and recognizes that his sexual orientation has nothing to do with his ability to do this job. But many soldiers are not so lucky, and many mothers whose children grow up to be soldiers are today carrying the weight of the closet along with their gay children.
While Darren’s case is exceptional, it is becoming more and more common. SLDN say that they know of hundreds of gay men and women in uniform who are serving openly despite the law which tells them they must live in the closet. This is not surprising given that we are fighting two wars and need all the talented and qualified men and women we can find to defend our country.
Darren’s father, brothers and I are very proud of him. We know that Darren wants to continue serving his country, but he does not want to continue living a lie. It is a sacrifice that no soldier should be forced to make, and a worry that a mother should have to carry each day.
I have made up my mind that this Mother’s Day, I will stand with my son and speak the truth about what it means to watch your child server your country while serving under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The law is unfair and unjust, and no American should have to sacrifice their ability to find love and happiness in order to wear the uniform. No Americans should have to sacrifice their true identity, their self-respect and their self confidence to wear the uniform.
This Mother’s Day, join me and SLDN in calling for the repeal of DADT.
-Nancy Mazzella
Labels: DADT, Darren Manzella, don't ask don't tell, mother's day, sldn
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Sabbaticals
In yesterday’s USAToday, RAND sociologist Laura Miller presents Army leaders with an idea on how they can attract and retain mid-level officers to help manage the expanding manpower needs of the force and reduce stress on soldiers and families. Her suggestion, sabbaticals – give officers year-long sabbaticals in business or government to give them a respite from brutal deployment cycles and offer them the chance to develop capabilities for future deployments and higher-level assignments.
The Army is well aware of the growing manpower crisis, both in terms of enlisted and offer ranks, and has recently begun bolstering retention incentives, offering cash bonuses, expanding graduate education opportunities, and providing options when it come to future postings. These initiatives have all been tied to additional service commitments.
While Miller’s suggestion is certainly a good one, there is also a far more simple, far less expensive suggestion which might help address the problem. Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and allow trained and qualified officers to remain in the ranks even if they are gay? The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law has cost our military 12,000 service members since 1993 – that is not to mention the men and women who choose not to enlist in the first place or reenlist because of the ban.
Army leaders who are serious about addressing the service’s personnel issues need to begin explaining to their civilian leadership that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is hurting the military and recommend that it be repealed.
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05-09-08 Comment (0)
Anatomy of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
I’m a Grey’s Anatomy fan. Great cast. Great writing. Great stories. I had no warning about last night’s episode, so imagine my surprise when I sat down to watch and the storyline unfolded. A young soldier who’s diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor consented to be part of a clinical trial run by Dr. Grey. The soldier’s Army doctor, along with his father (who’s also a retired Army officer) are in the soldier’s hospital room when his “best friend” and fellow soldier arrives, decked out in his ACUs, to be at his buddy’s side. There’s immediate tension along with several knowing glances between the two soldiers. When Dad and the Army doc. leave the room, the soldiers share a passionate kiss. Dad walks in on the embrace and throws the “friend” out, just before the Army doctor enters the room.
Dr. Grey talks to her patient as she prepares him for surgery, telling him how ridiculous she thinks “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is and tries to convince her patient that he should take this time to be with the love of his life, who’s now sitting alone in the waiting area. Knowing that he is probably not going to survive the surgery, and knowing that any further displays of affection will likely result in his boyfriend’s discharge from the military, the soldier refuses to see his love before going into surgery, choosing instead to save his boyfriend’s career.
He dies.
This story is not all that unfamiliar to the more than 65,000 lesbian, gay and bisexual men and women who are currently serving in our Armed Forces. All members of our military make great sacrifices to serve this country, but the sacrifices made by those who are lesbian, gay or bisexual are compounded by the fact that they are forced to serve in silence. They have to be careful about how they communicate with loved ones – restricting phone calls, letters and emails for fear that someone will find out about their sexual orientation. Worrying that if they are wounded or killed in combat, their partners will not be notified. Had this soldier’s boyfriend not shown up at the hospital the way he did, he likely would have been one of the last to know of his partner’s death.
Last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy brought home the very real consequences of “Don’t’ Ask, Don’t Tell.” It’s time to pass the Military Readiness Enhancement Act, repeal this discriminatory law and start treating all of those who serve our country with the dignity and respect they deserve.
You can see last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy at http://www.abc.com/
Labels: DADT, don't ask don't tell, grey's anatomy
05-09-08 Comment (1)
HuffintonPost.com
Since it first launched on May 9, 2005, HuffingtonPost.com has become one of the web’s most respected and influential news and commentary outlets. Its roster of bloggers includes many people from Arianna Huffington's extensive network of prominent friends and as of today includes regular blog postings from SLDN’s Aubrey Sarvis.
In Rx for a Stronger, Healthier Military Sarvis asks Americans, “when standards are being lowered and injured soldiers are being sent off to war, why is Congress still not allowing gay military personnel to serve openly?”
“Senior military leadership understands the manpower challenges they face and that sexual orientation is no longer relevant. I also believe they will not want to dwell in the past and instead will agree with fully opening the military to all who are qualified,” writes Sarvis. “Like [Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff] Admiral Mullen, I believe America's armed forces should truly reflect our country - all of us.”
Visit HuffingtonPost.com to read more and leave a comment.
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05-09-08 Comment (0)
Leaving Las Vegas
Filling you in on the Las Vegas and Colorado legs of our trip last week was one of those things that kept getting pushed aside. We were busy those three days in Las Vegas, so busy that we didn’t linger in the casinos—although we did hit the Liberace Museum.
We came to listen and to ask for help. We did a lot of listening—at a small dinner organized by Las Vegas attorney Kevin Kelly, at a panel discussion the next night organized by Candice Nichols, executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Southern Nevada—but we did some talking, too. Those of us involved in this struggle tend to assume that others are as aware of it as we are. In fact, they’re not. One of the things we wanted to learn from the people we met was how to raise awareness of the issue. How can we engage more Nevadans and Coloradans in our fight, and keep them engaged? How can we bring the entire Nevada Congressional delegation, not just our great ally Shelley Berkeley, to our side? Hard questions, with no easy answers, but our team is at work on it. In the morning Sharon Alexander and Julie Kruse will be on Capitol Hill meeting with the staff of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada.)
We didn’t have to worry about getting Jim Davis engaged. He’s a terrific example of why DADT must be repealed. He retired as a captain after twenty years in the Air Force under DADT, including a tour in Iraq and has the medals to prove it. He now practices law in Las Vegas. Channel 8’s Eyewitness News reporter Chris Sladana interviewed us for a long news segment, and Jim was really great. He told the reporter, “When we get called to duty and go to war—when we get called into combat, that’s what we focus on and do our job. It doesn’t matter who we wake up with.” You can read the transcript here, and if you’ve got a fast connection you can watch the show. We need guys like Jim to speak for us, and I hope he’ll do a lot more.
Oh, yes, the Liberace Museum. Las Vegas Pride was celebrating their early kick-off with a big party at this memorial to all things Liberace. They invited us to come over after our panel discussion.
In Las Vegas we also spent more than an hour with the managing editor of the Las Vegas Sun, Mike Kelley, and the next morning we had breakfast with the publisher, Brian Greensun, who’s a major force in Nevada politics and business, one of the most important businessmen in the state. We want him on our side. We also met with Molly Ball at the Las Vegas Review-Journal. We don’t expect stories to come out of all of these meetings; we just hope the journalists understand what we said and remember it. One of these day’s they’ll find a use for it, some may become active advocates.
And so it was on to Colorado: more breakfasts, more meetings with editorial boards, more “meet and greets”—and we hope from all that that more Colorado men and women are ready to join us in the fight—and ready to put pressure on their representatives in Congress, too. Again we found people who really weren’t much aware of DADT and we set out to tell them and make new friends. We showed a clip from the 60 Minutes program on Darren Manzella at a reception in Denver. We met with representatives of the Gill Foundation; the nation’s largest private foundation focused on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights. It was founded by Tim Gill, who started Quark, a major player among software companies. We’re hoping the foundation will increase their support. This is an expensive fight we’re involved in, and we need more money to pay for it.
We did essentially the same thing in Denver, Boulder, and Colorado Springs as we did in Las Vegas. We asked questions and we answered them. We talked to Iraq War veterans in every state we visited. Two of the soldiers are still on active duty. Without exception they all want DADT repealed.
David Hall & Aubrey Sarvis
05-08-08 Comment (1)
In Loving Memory
Mildred Loving, a black woman whose challenge to Virginia's ban on interracial marriage led to a 1967 landmark Supreme Court decision doing away with such laws nationwide, died Friday at her home near Richmond, VA. She was 68.
Loving and her white husband, Richard, were married in Washington, DC, in 1958, returned to Virginia, and a few weeks later woke up in their bed to find themselves surrounded by sheriff’s deputies. They were arrested and forced to choose between leaving Virginia and jail. They returned after the U.S. Supreme Court upheld their right to marry. The ruling struck down laws banning racially mixed marriages in at least 17 states.
The United States has made great strides in addressing racism, but the same cannot be said about another form of bigotry. For lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender Americans discrimination continues to live-on in laws like "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." There are still federal laws which say we cannot serve in the military, and laws in most states exclude us from the rights and obligations of marriage. These laws are as obviously unjust as the law that threatened the Lovings with jail some 40 years ago.
When will Congress come to see that? They need to catch up with the American people and make it possible for lesbians, gays and bisexuals in the armed forces to say “I am who I am” knowing they can continue to serve with pride and without fear. As in the Lovings' case, it’s a simple matter of justice.
(Photo of Mildred Loving and her husband Richard P Loving in January 26, 1965, credit AP)
05-06-08 Comment (0)
Colorado Newspaper Editorial Calls for Repeal
The Daily Camera, the daily paper of note in Boulder, Colorado editorialized this weekend on the need to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Editorial writer Erika Stutzman writes, "It's hard to imagine that Truman desegregating the armed forces 60 years ago was such a bold move, given that minorities had been fighting for the United States since before it’s founding -- but it was. Although national polls have shown the majority of Americans think gays and lesbians should be able to serve openly in the military, there is strong resistance within the military itself. But the U.S. military faced -- and eventually conquered -- the same resistance in its ranks over racial desegregation. The government should end 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.'"
The editorial, which follows SLDN executive director Aubrey Sarvis's recent tour of Colorado, can be read by clicking here.
Labels: editorials
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On the Activist Road
On Monday May 5th, I'll be in City Hall in NYC again testifying at the second hearing on the NYC Council's second DADT repeal resolution. These "City Resolutions," which ask Congress and the President to repeal the repressive Don't Ask Don't tell policy, are sent to respective Representatives and Senators telling them that their local voters want them to take action on allowing all Americans to be able to choose to volunteer to serve in our armed forces regardless of sexual orientation, regardless of the irrelevance of who or how we happen to love.
This is New York's second such resolution and it's a shoe-in for passage later this year. It was introduced by the openly Lesbian Speaker of the Council, Chris Quinn, at the behest of SLDN under the inspired leadership of Aubry Sarvis. It was co-sponsored, appropriately, by the Chairman of the Council's Committee on Veterans. Monday's hearing is a part of the process of moving the measure out of committee and on to the full council for a final vote. "Process" is everything, as any Process Queen will tell you; and so we participate in the ponderous politicized procedural deliberations, speaking out with the ultimate goal of greater freedom on our minds to fortify our ongoing efforts. New York's first DADT repeal resolution was passed in 2005 at the urging of American Veterans For Equal Rights New York (AVERNY). Probably during Pride Month, in June of this year, Congress will get the message of the current resolution telling them to get moving on The Mil itary Readiness Enhancement Act, a Congressional Bill which would repeal DADT and prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in our military. This resolution tells our congressional delegation that their voters are still waiting for action, three years after the first request, or I should say, demand. It follows resolutions from nearly a dozen cities across the country, two resolutions from the California Legislature, Jewish War Veterans and other national prganizations.
The first NYC DADT repeal resolution, that AVERNY officers and I got passed in 2005, wasn't so easy. When we first suggested the resolution in 2004, the Military Readiness Enhancement Act had not yet been introduced in Congress and no other city in America had made such a resolved demand. It took fifteen months of gritty persistent political arm twisting. We honestly had no idea what we were doing. We had no idea what we were up against in trying to get the attention of council members who normally concern themselves with a budget of billions of dollars needed to run a world class city. We were a tiny organization with no money to speak of, just a small group of determined old men. That we succeeded is a demonstration of what a grass-roots effort can accomplish; that every voter counts, that if you shout loud and long enough, you will be heard. Our total expenditure for the entire fifteen month effort was $200, donated by a single individual, to pay Dr . Frank Kameny's train fare from DC to New York so that he could testify at a hearing before the full NYC council. We spent months phoning, faxing, and e-mailing.
Our determination didn't come out of nowhere, of course. I've been an activist for 48 years, since I was hit in the head with a rock, at the age of 13 in 1960, during my first civil rights march on a picket line with the NAACP. I didn't know what I was getting into then either. In the moments before I was hit with that rock, I was filled with a boy's innocent and idealistic hopes for the future. In the moments after, I began a lifetime of bitter struggle for rights. The other AVERNY officers were all veterans of gay activism. We are all Vietnam Era vets. Joe Kennedy was one of the founders of the Gay Activist Alliance back in the early 70s. Jim Reilly was well known for speaking out, quite loudly and effectively, to his subway motorman's union and the City, in demanding partner benefits and other rights. The list goes on. We were a bunch of grizzled activists who just got pissed-off and more determined if we were ignored. On of the group even followed a council member into the council chamber men's room to "discuss" his vote with him while standing at the urinals. We understand the polite negotiations with elected officials, needed these days to achieve progress. But, we all began our activism shouting on the streets long ago.
Frankly, after all these years, we're getting a little tired of having to still demand rights. The point of this story is to inspire the next generation (OK, we're so old it would be the next next generation). In the current era, one does not stand in the street shouting and defiantly ducking thrown rocks. These days require intelligent persistent negotiation and advocacy. There are plenty of people and programs in SLDN, AVER and other groups who are ready to teach you how politely step in front of others waiting to talk to a politician and present your cause in the thirty seconds during which you will have their undivided attention. There's more, such as how to talk to jaded news reporters. Just ask.
by Denny Meyer
PAO AVER
Media Dir. TAVA
Editor, http://www.thegaymilitarytimes.com/
05-05-08 Comment (0)
Letter to the Editor—USAToday
On Friday, the editors at USAToday published a letter from SLDN executive director Aubrey Sarvis on the irony of the Army involuntarily extending the orders of soldiers while at the same time discharging service members who are open about being lesbian, gay or bisexual.
"Repealing "don't ask, don't tell" is not going to solve the Army's recruitment problems, but at least it would allow those gay men and women who want to serve to do so openly, and it would prevent the discharge of those who are already in the service. Not only is it the practical thing to do, it is also the only fair and just thing to do," writes Sarvis.
Click here to read the letter in its entirety and click here to learn how you can write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper.
05-03-08 Comment (1)
Ask Not
Award-winning filmmaker Johnny Symons (Daddy & Papa) adds to his string of excellent documentaries on gay culture with the unveiling of his newest project, Ask Not.
The documentary, which examines the personal costs inflicted by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” provides viewers with three different perspectives of the ban on openly gay and lesbian military service -- including heartbreaking footage of a gay soldier as he prepares to deploy to Baghdad.
Ask Not, which premiered last week at the San Francisco International Film Festival, can also be seen at the Ft Lauderdale/Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival on May 1st, Sundance Film Festival on May 5th, Seattle International Film Festival on May 29th and New York LGBT Film Festival on June 5th. Warmly personal, politically incisive and straightforward, Ask Not should not be missed.
Click here to learn more about Ask Not, and locate a screening near you.
-Victor Maldonado
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05-01-08 Comment (0)
