Frontlines: The Latest from OutServe-SLDN
Memorial Day: A Flag for a Soldier, But Not Her Wife
I have a flag that I'm technically not allowed to have. It's the flag that was draped over my wife's coffin at her funeral on Feb. 10. It is military custom to personally and proudly present that flag to the spouse of a fallen soldier, but because my wife, CW2 Charlie Morgan of the New Hampshire National Guard, was married to a woman instead of to a man, our marriage doesn't exist in the eyes of the government that she served for 17 years.
Charlie was an amazing wife, mother and soldier who died in February after a five-year battle with metastatic breast cancer. But in our 16 years together, cancer wasn't the only battle that we fought. Even as Charlie served her country, we lived as a family in hiding, with the discriminatory "don't ask, don't tell" policy hanging over our every move. It was only when DADT was lifted in 2010 that we could safely be a family in the eyes of the military and make the public promise of marriage to each other.
But our short-lived celebration quickly came to a halt when we realized that the federal Defense of Marriage Act still prohibited the military from acknowledging both our 10-year civil union and our legal New Hampshire marriage. It dawned on us that if Charlie were to lose her battle with cancer, I would not be viewed as her wife. I would not be assured the financial protections that military spouses depend on in the wake of losing a life partner.
I was terrified. I couldn't stop worrying about what this meant for our 5-year-old daughter, Casey Elena. Charlie was a soldier in every sense of the word, and she fought her final battle ferociously so that others wouldn't have to go through that same pain. In the end, cancer claimed Charlie before the battle was won.
Now I keep fighting in her memory. In March, just weeks after losing my wife, I watched with tears in my eyes as the cases against both DOMA and California's Proposition 8 made their way to the Supreme Court of the United States. I had that strength only because of Charlie. She dedicated her life to her country and her family, and before she died, she made me promise never to give up.
Since Charlie's death, I have applied and been rejected for survivorship benefits, such as VA and Social Security benefits that would have automatically been available to a heterosexual spouse. I do not have access to the health insurance that heterosexual spouses have when their loved one dies on active duty. When I die, I will not be allowed to be buried beside my wife in the veterans' cemetery.
Facing this future as a second-class citizen, I desperately hope that the Supreme Court will bring equality to all gay families and strike down DOMA. It haunts almost every aspect of our lives, and it doesn't measure up to the litmus test of freedom and equality that we've set as a standard for our way of life in the United States. It's time for freedom and justice to prevail, and for those who purport to stand for those values to apply them fairly to all the citizens of our country.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Karen Morgan lives in New Hampshire and is the widow of Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan. She remains a plaintiff in OutServe-SLDN’s federal lawsuit McLaughlin v. Panetta, which is challenging the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in federal court.
05-27-13 By Karen Morgan, Plaintiff, McLaughlin v. Panetta | Comment (0)
Submit a Workshop Proposal for the OS-SLDN Leadership Conference
We are excited to announce that OutServe-SLDN will host our third International Leadership Conference (ILC) on October 25-27, 2013 in San Antonio, Texas. And we would like for you to be a part of it.
OutServe-SLDN has grown and changed significantly since our last ILC in Orlando. In the seven months since then, we have:
- Completed our merger to become the largest association of LGBT service members in America
- Opened our membership to include veterans, civilian employees of the Department of Defense, and other civilian supporters.
- Expanded our mission and adopted new strategic priorities focused on the future.
We have also accomplished a great deal. We were at the center of the public vetting of Chuck Hagel to be Secretary of Defense. We looked blatant, unremorseful discrimination in the eye at Fort Bragg and won. We took historic steps toward transgender inclusion in the U.S. armed forces. We secured from DOD nearly every benefit that could be offered to same-sex military families with DOMA in place, and we put those families front and center in the fight to bring DOMA down once and for all.
But our work is far from over; in fact, it is just getting started. As DADT fades in the rear view mirror and as marriage equality advances in the states and in the courts, many of our members are finding that policy change has not been enough to transform their lived experience for the better. What is really needed is a culture change. That is why OutServe-SLDN has refocused itself over the last six months – we’re taking on the long-term work of building cultures of respect and inclusion of all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, in DOD and DVA.
That is also why we have chosen "Breaking Barriers, Building Leaders" as our theme for the 2013 conference. WeÂ’re going to provide participants – service members, family members, DOD civilians, veterans, and allies - with some of the tools and resources necessary to break through barriers of unconscious bias and entrenched prejudice in their communities. We are going to help them become even more effective leaders for the post-DADT military. And thatÂ’s where you come in. We want you to join us in this work.
We would like you to submit proposals for workshops, panels, and presentations that help us accomplish these goals. You might consider some of these suggestions – but do not let them limit your creativity!
- Leadership development for LGBT members of the military community
- Building networks of support for LGBT military families
- Educating and empowering allies
- Coming out and living openly in a military community context
- Building LGBT equality in the military workplace
- Preparing for and living in a post-Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) world
If you are interested in being a part of all this, please complete the online form by July 31, 2013. If you have questions or need additional information, please contact Gary Espinas, Chapter and Membership Services Director, by e-mail at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or telephone at (202) 621-5402.
To submit your proposal, click here.
05-23-13 By Allyson Robinson, OutServe-SLDN Executive Director | Comment (0)
Week in Review - May 17, 2013
Pentagon Recognizes Transgender Veteran with OutServe-SLDN Assistance. The Pentagon formally recognized earlier this month that there are transgender veterans — a step that LGBT advocates say is a long way from open transgender service in the military, but also a significant first step in that process. To read more, click here.
OutServe-SLDN Board of Directors Adopts New Mission Statement. Last weekend in Washington, DC, the OutServe-SLDN Board of Directors met to finalize and approve a new mission statement for the organization that focuses on growing OS-SLDN for the future beyond just the achievement of our policy initiatives. To see the new mission, click here.
Join the OutServe-SLDN Online Town Hall Saturday at 2 p.m. EDT. OutServe-SLDN will host its second online town hall meeting on Saturday, May 18 at 2 p.m. EDT for members and supporters. The event - a Google Hangout entitled "A new era, a new kind of organization" - will focus on the recent adoption of a refined mission statement by the OutServe-SLDN Board of Directors, provide a preview of the new membership structure about to be announced publicly, and allow participants to submit questions to OS-SLDN Executive Director Allyson Robinson and Director of Chapter and Member Services Gary Espinas. For more information, including directions for participation, click here.
OutServe-SLDN in Seattle Next Week. OutServe-SLDN will host a reception in Seattle, WA next weekend. Ticket prices start at just $25 and may be purchased here.
05-17-13 By Zeke Stokes, OutServe-SLDN Communications Director | Comment (0)
OS-SLDN Provides Testimony on Charlie Morgan Act
Today the Senate Committee on Veterans Affairs was scheduled to hold a hearing to consider a number of legislative items. The hearing was postponed, but a Committee spokesman confirmed that it will be rescheduled. When it is, one of the items Committee members will hear about will be the Charlie Morgan Military Spouses Equal Treatment Act of 2013. The bill is named after our dear friend Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan, who passed away earlier this year after a brave and tireless battle with cancer. Before she passed, Charlie did so much to advance the cause of LGBT military equality, especially by highlighting the damage that the so-called Defense of Marriage Act does to our service members, veterans and their families.
I was invited by the Committee to submit testimony, which I was honored to provide. In my testimony, which you can read here, I discuss Charlie's effort to see DOMA and other discriminatory provisions repealed. I also convey to the Committee why the Charlie Morgan Act is necessary regardless of what the Supreme Court does with DOMA. I hope that you take a moment to learn more about this important piece of legislation. You can read more here.
05-15-13 By Allyson Robinson, OutServe-SLDN Executive Director | Comment (0)
Take the Pride Challenge!
June is LGBT Pride Month, and OutServe-SLDN's members and supporters will attend dozens of Pride events across the country - and indeed around the world - as we celebrate and honor how far we have come on our journey to full equality in this country.
We need your help today to get our chapters the resources they need to be be successful at these events - things like banners, t-shirts, educational information, and promotional supplies. And we don't have much time to do it.
We need to raise $10,000 more in the next ten days in order to meet our goal for supplying our chapters and members with what they need. Here's how your contribution can make a difference today:
- $10 buys a t-shirt for a volunteer
- $25 buys 100 flyers to educate the public about our fight for equality and what they can do to help
- $50 buys a banner that our members use to march proudly in Pride parades
- $100 or more helps us pay registration fees and secure our participation
05-14-13 By Gary Espinas, Chapter & Member Services Director | Comment (0)
Give OUT on May 9th!
We invite you to be part of history and join OutServe-SLDN as we participate in the first national Give OUT Day on May 9th. It's a great way to use your social media network to make a difference for our men and women in uniform, our veterans, and their families.
What is Give OUT Day?
Give OUT Day is a new national initiative that will engage hundreds of organizations and mobilize thousands of people on a single day across the country to give in support LGBT causes.
How does it work?
Donate online through OutServe-SLDN's Give OUT Day page or create your own fundraising page here to get your friends and family involved. You can make a donation now or set it to be processed on May 9th.
Why do we need you?
The repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was just the beginning of our fight for full LGBT military equality - not the end. Your support today will help us keep up the fight for these brave patriots, veterans, and their families.
Click this link to get started!
05-01-13 By Zeke Stokes, OutServe-SLDN Communications Director | Comment (0)
