Changing Times Renew Hope for Equality
An SLDN supporter shares a story of courage as the partner of a service member who will soon be deployed to Iraq. The author also thanks Frontlines contributor and decorated combat veteran Tim Stalling for his inspirational guest editorial, submitted for Veterans Day last month:
On or about Inauguration Day, my partner of 15 years will deploy to Iraq. I cannot attend any of his official goodbye functions, because I am not family. I will not be on anyone's phone tree, and none of the base support services will be available to me and the 13-year-old child we are raising together.
But I am incredibly proud of him.
By joining the Army, he escaped a cycle of poverty and abuse that few in his large family were ever able to do. He was a very good soldier. After 10 years in the infantry the pressures of being closeted made him leave what he was good at doing. Then I came along and we lived a happy, out and proud life as a couple for 12 years.
At first it was difficult for me to understand why he wanted to rejoin after so many years, especially as an out gay man - he'd have to go back in the closet, after all. He explained that before the military, no one had ever patted him on the back and said 'good job' or ever rewarded him for being good at anything. The strong, confident, capable man that he became was the result of his years of service. He told me he needed to finish what he started. I gave him my full support.
I'm a jaded old political hack who was surprised to see myself hopeful and motivated again. Obama pledged to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," and I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and get involved. We were both there together at Invesco field when Obama accepted the nomination.
I am going to the inauguration, but it will be bittersweet for me. I would rather be there watching his plane take off. But I consider it an honor to represent him at the ceremony, even if nobody knows it.
And so I saw Tim Stalling's guest editorial on the SLDN blog. It was beautifully written, and I thank you for it, Tim. Frankly, you were one of the people that made my life a living hell in school - one of the people who reinforced the idea that it wasn't safe for me to be myself. It took me a long time to get over that belief, but I did.
Tim, I'm proud of who you've become.
12-15-08
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