Frontlines: The Latest from OutServe-SLDN

I guess I won't be seeing Elaine at the Winter Party. No, our girl in Michigan (who did she vote for in yesterday's primary, one wonders) - who isn't fond of women, and really doesn't like gays - also has no use for "beachwear," you see. Much like that dancing thing the kids seem to like so much these days, a swimsuit is a sure sign of the decline of western civilization. And while I might be grateful that Ms. Donnelly won't be sashaying down South Beach, her latest rant of "1 + 1 = 3" is just too bizarre to believe. Writing today on "The Tank" at the National Review Online, Elaine does her usual "fire the gays" routine. She blasts us for criticizing her "appropriate and courteous phone calls" to Fort Hood (which she herself has classified as "bothering" Army officials) and she accuses Sergeant Manzella of "mocking" the military by talking about his appreciation for the Army and about how much he's looking forward to returning to base next week. But then - sacre bleu! - Elaine tries to enforce her own dresscode. Referring to Darren's 60 Minutes interview, where he talked about a 2006 investigation into his personal life that was closed, Elaine writes today that, "We don’t know whether the Army investigated the anonymous e-mails or Sgt. Manzella’s homosexual conduct, but a photo of Manzella posed with a mixed-gender group of 'Army buddies' partying in casual beachwear suggests that the unit was not a model of discipline." (Emphasis ours) Call in Donatella Versace, people. Elaine is bringing the war against beachwear to our armed forces. The CMR fashion police are on the job, and they will not let casual dress codes topple our armed forces. The devil wears Prada, indeed. - Steve Ralls