Everyone Should Have the Right to Serve Country
Guest editorial
By Tim Stalling
The Connecticut Post
November 10, 2008
Soon after arriving to the Marine Corps Recruit Depot on Parris Island, S.C., in October 1989, my drill instructor recognized my name and asked if I wanted to be in recon. "Sir, I just want to be a Marine, sir," I answered. A few days later, the battalion Sergeant Major approached me and asked the same thing. "I've got my eye on you!" he said. It turns out they had served with my older brother, Dave (who had recently left the Corps) in Force Recon, one of the most challenging and elite units in the military -- and they were expecting the same from me.
While attending the Amphibious Reconnaissance School, where I became the honor graduate, the major in charge pushed me to "meet the standards" my brother had set. He had excelled in training and in all the missions he was assigned.
It was a lot to live up to, but it made me ever the more proud of my brother. I always considered him one of the toughest men I know.
So I was pretty shocked, years later, when he told me he is gay.
When serving as a Marine, I would have been uncomfortable, perhaps disgusted, at any notion of serving with gay men. My brother defied my stereotypes and exposed my misconceptions. I have gained a new understanding of how rough it can be for gays and lesbians to be themselves in a world so ripe with ignorance and hate. My brother changed my views, with his courage to embrace his true self.
Recently, Dave went to work for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a nonprofit that works to repeal the 1993 "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law and ensure that all people can serve our nation openly and honestly regardless of sexual orientation. My brother's experience at SLDN has opened my eyes to the sad reality that qualified service members are discharged every day just for being gay. Additional men and women in uniform have been harassed and lost benefits based on the basis of sexual orientation, and tens of thousands more have either decided not to re-enlist or have chosen not to join the armed forces because they feel unwelcome.
Why should it matter? My brother was one of the finest Marines I know, and there are thousands more like him. Military service should be based on skills, knowledge and proficiency -- not on sexual orientation. If I were ever called to serve my country again, I would proudly serve with, and entrust my life to, people like my brother. This is a free nation, with freedoms my brother and other gays and lesbians have helped defend and secure.
The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law makes no sense, harms individuals, hurts military readiness and undermines the freedom and fairness our country stands for. The time for repeal is now! On this Veterans Day, let's begin to appreciate, respect and honor all of our veterans.
A decorated, combat veteran, Tim Stalling is now a Fairfield police officer. He lives in Monroe with his wife and two children.
11-11-08 By Tim Stalling, SLDN Supporter |
Comments
Comments for this entry are closed.