Frontlines: The Latest from OutServe-SLDN

Giving Thanks to All U.S. Troops

As a young boy growing up, my family instilled southern values. They taught me to always give thanks to those soldiers who place their life on the line so I can sleep safely each night. With the Thanksgiving holiday upon us, all I seem to be able to think about are our troops, not just those overseas, but those here at home as well. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks and being with family and friends, so we should be giving thanks to ALL service members regardless of their sexuality.

As a veteran of the US Army I realize how much the sacrifice really is during the holidays. These people, who have volunteered to protect our country from foreign and domestic enemies, are not all the same; however, they all share a common goal and that is to serve and protect. By not allowing the best and the brightest to be part of this force because of their sexual orientation is something that will only hurt the United States from achieving this common goal.

There are men and women who don't get that opportunity to spend time with their families during such a traditional holiday--they are protecting the freedom of people like you and me. I have had the pleasure and privilege of being one of those people. As a soldier, my definition of family changes from just the normal platonic family to a family made up of just random strangers from all over the country with one mission in mind: to serve this amazing, diverse country we call the USA.

As one of those people who stepped forward to defend each of us, there was more than just the pain of not being able to see your family on such a family-oriented holiday, but the fact that I would not have been able to express my love for a partner over the phone. I would have been in fear that if I said "I love you" to another man that someone would over hear me and turn me in for being gay. Not to mention while everyone is getting care packages from their wives and children, he would be unable to do the same for me. I was willing to lay my life down for a country I loved so much, but the country I loved wanted me to hide and lie about who I am. Every day the Army preached to us the core values of honor, duty, respect, personal courage, loyalty, selfless service and integrity. Then one day I was forced to live by all seven values, but the Army  wanted me to live by these values with certain stipulations.

Since that day I have been on a rollercoaster ride that has had its good times, but definitely had its bad times. On December 16, 2003 I walked into my commander's office and handed him a letter stating that I am gay. That is also the day that my Army career came to an end. Ever since that day I have been fighting this unjust law.

Now, 16 years since the law has been put in place, I believe that we have the opportunity to make a difference and possibly win the fight to end discrimination against LGBT individuals who are willing to sacrifice more than most Americans are willing to. We have to stand united and tell congress that enough is enough and we can’t wait any longer to jeopardize any more American lives. We need the best and the brightest serving and we need them now. If the ban is lifted I would re-join the same day, because I am an American too, and should be allowed to serve openly and proudly.

This post has been updated since its original posting.

By Tommy Cook, SLDN Plaintiff and former U.S. Army Specialist |

10 Comments

Comments for this entry are closed.

Tommy Cook in Houston, Texas on December 03, 2009 at 08.36 am

Mr. Larson,

It is very noble of you to want to send a care package to a solider during the holidays.  The only bad thing is that the policy that is currently in place would allow the military to kick them out if they disclosed there sexuality.  Therefore, your best bet would be to contact your congress person and let then know that we need their support and we need it now. 

As a gay veteran I would like to encourage you to stand up in the flight with us.  The more people I talk to about this, the more they realize this policy is still in place.  Most people I know have no clue that you can still get kicked out of the military for being gay.  Please, Please, Please at the least just contact your congress person, or you can always donate the money you planned on spending to SLDN.

SLDN helps those soldiers like myself, with legal advise while be terminated from the military.  Not only, do they offer legal advice, they are a person that is willing to listen on the other end of the phone.  So please consider the suggestions above.

Rich on December 03, 2009 at 07.02 am

Gay and lesbian servicemembers don’t need care packages as much as they need action within the LGBT community to help drive the end of DADT.  As much as everyone bemoans DADT, there is only niche effort in the activist community fighting for DADT repeal.  The bulk of gay and lesbian activists spend nearly all of their time and resources on quixotic gay marriage fights at the state level.  While it may seem like DADT only impacts a handful of gay and lesbians, overturning this policy will result in a major victory at the federal level.  Unlike a gay marriage referendum that succeeds in opening up rights in a single state, DADT will immediately recognize the rights of gays and lesbians in all 50 states.  Gay and lesbian servicemembers have no voice in this fight since they cannot identify themselves under DADT.  The rest of the gay and lesbian commity needs to stand up and provide that voice.  The louder the better.  Organize your friends.  Contact your Congressional delegation and forcefully advocate for change.

Brett Larsen on December 02, 2009 at 06.16 pm

Tommy,

I want to send a package to a gay soldier for the holidays. I don’t mean to exclude anyone else, but I don’t think our straight soldiers need it as much since they’re likely to be getting help from other people and organizations.

I’ve checked online and there doesn’t seem to be any place to do this. Obviously, that’s not surprising considering the DADT policy.

If it’s not possible to send supplies or a package to a gay soldier, what would you suggest I do to help? I’m not a soldier, but I am gay and just want to show my support for my brothers and sisters who have put their lives on the line.

I can’t believe it is 2009 and people still have to live in the closet and in a soldier’s case live in the closet while risking his life. It makes me ill to think about it.

Thanks for your time and I look forward to your reply.

Have a wonderful holiday season and happy new year.

Brett

Dino in Washington, DC on December 01, 2009 at 04.40 pm

Sorry for getting you confused Tommy. I will check out the case.  Once again, thanks for your courage and your service.

Tommy in Houston, TX on November 30, 2009 at 08.39 am

Yes, I am the one who wrote the blog.  Dino, if you want to know more about me look up the Plaintiffs of Cook v Gates.  I am Tommy Cook.

Patrick in Charleston, SC on November 27, 2009 at 08.48 pm

The article was written by Tommy, not Andrew.

Thank you, Tommy, for your service and your courage. I enjoyed reading your story, and can tell you that your message was not lost at all.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday this year!

Dino in Washington, DC on November 27, 2009 at 02.21 pm

Thank you for your courage Andrew.  I am just curious, how did your commander react to your letter on that day in December 2003?  How long were you in the service after presenting your commander with that letter and your separation? How did your unit react? Was there any noticible decline in morale or unit cohesion in-between your statement to your commander and your discharge? I am sure there wasn’t.  I have heard of stories of people being in over a year or more while awaiting discharge under DADT with their unit’s FULL knowledge that they are gay or lesbian.  Always the same story, there was NO change whatsoever in the morale and unit-cohesion with the peers of the LGB servicemember.  Just shows how bunk and stupid this is.

Martin in DC on November 27, 2009 at 01.41 pm

Thank you Andrew… Your presentation is very important… Not only is this a satiric message but I am sure that it was meant to be a representation of SLDN’s appreciation for all servicemembers….


“People are watching”

Tommy in Houston, TX on November 27, 2009 at 11.56 am

Sorry, I had to type it very quickly and did not have time to proof read.  Please, just go with the message and not the bad grammar.

Andrew on November 27, 2009 at 01.20 am

Please look over your grammar. I’m really not trying to be rude, but there are some errors in there that take away from the great message you are getting across.