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Honoring a Life of Service: Nelson Joseph LaBombard

Last week, we buried my father. My partner of 15 years, Karen, and I were grateful that we could be with him the last day he was cognizant and able to speak. That day, his eyes lit up when we walked into his bedroom and he smiled. We sat with him for hours, along with other family members. We still saw flashes of humor and the facial expressions we always will remember. I thanked him for loving Karen and accepting her as family; every time I spoke on the telephone to my dad, he would end our conversation saying "Tell Karen I love her!" I'll always remember his generosity and love.

I'll also remember Dad's service to our country. He was a boatswain's mate first class in the Navy. He didn't have a big title, but he served during a crucial period, having enlisted just a couple of months before Pearl Harbor was attacked. He served in the Pacific theater on the USS Nashville, which escorted the aircraft carrier Hornet on the important Doolittle Raid on Japan in April 1942. In recent years, I learned a lot about what he saw and experienced in combat. I understood the impact of those years on him even in the weeks before he died -- the nightmares and even the smells that still haunted him. I am proud of my dad for his service.

But I'm proud of him for something else, too. You see, my dad was a conservative, working-class man. Though he was born in Massachusetts, he essentially was a Midwesterner, having married my mom who hailed from tiny Cherokee, Kansas. My parents settled in the Kansas City, Missouri area and lived most of their lives there. My mom still lives in the mostly rural Lafayette County. She, too, is a conservative with deep religious roots and votes Republican (with exceptions made only for Congressman Ike Skelton). I am proud of both of my parents, not only for their service during World War II (Mom was a "Rosie the Riveter"), but also for the support for the tens of thousands of lesbian and gay individuals currently serving our country.

In June of 2008, I asked my parents if they'd mind Karen videotaping a conversation we were having about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" - the law that requires the firing of a service member based solely on his or her sexual orientation. They didn't mind -- my mom, in fact, had already expressed her views in a letter to the editor of the Kansas City Star. I'm so glad I have that video now, but at the time, I thought it might be used to get the word out that it's not just liberal, gay activists who support ending "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

In the video, my conservative, Midwestern Republican folks explained they didn't understand why the military would fire dedicated, honorable, and well-trained service members simply because they were gay. Shouldn't everyone just be held to the same standards of conduct, my mom wondered? My dad knows what it's like to be in combat; he didn't care what the color of someone's skin was or whether they loved someone of their own gender, so long as every sailor did his job. That's all they care about -- whether every sailor, soldier, or airman does his or her job, regardless of who they are; and that's all anyone should care about.

Though I don't agree with my mom and dad on many things (we adopted a "no politics" rule when we're together), I am proud of them. I'm proud of their service and love of our country; I'm proud of their acceptance and love for Karen; and I'm proud of their support for letting good people be who they are when they're serving our country.

08-20-09 By Susan L. LaBombard, Major Gifts Officer |