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Mourning a Lost Sister

Memorial Day is about remembering our lost brothers and sisters fallen in service to our nation while in uniform. But in a larger sense we mourn the loss of all of our military family who have died too soon; whose future has been lost and whose continuing service to our nation has ceased. We cherish their memories, celebrate their lives, and give thanks for their sacrifice.

Stacy Nowak was an Air Force Academy graduate and a proud officer. She had a loving family in New Jersey and friends across the country. She was a patriot. She cared about her brothers- and sisters-in-arms serving our nation, particularly those who, even today, must still serve in silence because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Tragically, Stacy died earlier this month. She will be missed and never forgotten. She did not fall in battle; she died here at home. Her uniform had been put away long ago but her service to our nation only came to an end with her death. She was 31.

Stacy demonstrated the moral courage expected of an Academy grad. She left the Air Force to be true to herself - to accept herself at the cost of sacrificing her military career because our nation’s reality has not caught up to our rhetoric. She reminded us there are still those who willingly bear the burdens of service and risk the ultimate sacrifice for a country that does not return their love. You see, Stacy was a transgender airman.

In her post-Air Force life, Stacy continued to live up to its Core Values. She became an air traffic controller, a demanding job that directly impacts all of us who fly. But her service was not in pushing tin, it was in transitioning while working for the FAA. Her work performance showed that transgender individuals are just as professional, just as capable as anyone. She forced the organization to address its institutional prejudices against transgender personnel. She blazed a trail that will make it better for those who will follow her.

She also never lost her love for the Service. She continued to contribute to the betterment of our national defense by serving on the board of SAGALA (Service Academy Gay and Lesbian Alumni), helping those who still serve, supporting the mission of our collective alma maters, and fighting against discrimination by the military against sexual minorities. Some day our Armed Forces will be better, and transgender patriots will have their service respected and welcomed, because of people like Stacy Nowak.

Memorial Day knows no Republican or Democratic way to sacrifice for one’s country. It knows no difference between a Christian or Muslim devotion to duty. It knows no unequal grief in the death of straight, gay or transgender patriots. Rather, the day knows that the special people who don the uniform of the United States do so because we are a nation worth defending and that freedom, liberty, and equality are values worthy of our sacrifice.

05-29-11 By Sue Fulton, former CPT, USA, West Point graduate (1980); and Paula M. Neira, LT, USNR (1985-1991), Annapolis graduate (1985) |