Remembering Those Who Served and Died in Silence
Today people are more likely to think of Memorial Day as a three-day weekend marking the beginning of summer than a day of remembrance for those who died in our nation’s service. Memorial Day was officially proclaimed in 1868 to honor our Civil War dead and expanded after World War I to include all Americans who died in any war. Traditional celebrations are waning but usually include parades, speeches, prayers, red poppies, marking graves with flags, and laying wreaths at cemeteries and memorials.
But for fallen LGBT service members and their families there has been no recognition, no remembrance, and no benefits. Before the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and previous regulations which prevented open service by gay and lesbian Americans, these brave patriots served in silence -- and sadly, died in silence without so much as a footnote of acknowledgement nor even the courtesy of a personal death notice to their partners. In fact, while a mother, father or even minor child would be given a folded flag at a military funeral on behalf of a grateful nation, the partner or spouse of a gay or lesbian service member likely would have been ignored completely, forced to mourn in silence, with no support from the military.
This Memorial Day marks the first opportunity since the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in September 2011 for the Department of Defense, actively serving military and the general public to fully acknowledge and honor gay and lesbian Americans who served and died in silence. While we cannot undo the past discrimination and disservice suffered by these veterans and their families, we can do our part to ensure they are honored now and that they did not fall in vain.
As the famous poem In Flanders Fields says:
To you from falling hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
We have won the battle of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repeal and the freedom to serve. Now we must take up that torch from the fallen -- the torch of justice -- and keep faith with those who served and died in silence by continuing to fight for full equality of benefits for LGBT service members and their families. When we say we support our troops, we need to support all our troops and their families equally.
We cannot have two classes of married service members within the military -- those who receive support and benefits for their families and those who do not. We believe the Department of Defense supports this concept, but their hands are tied by several laws which define spouse, including the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. That’s why SLDN filed litigation in Federal Court on behalf of eight legally married gay and lesbian veteran couples, McLaughlin vs. U.S., who have been denied family benefits to challenge these laws. Until we right this injustice, the fallen shall not sleep and neither should we.
This Memorial Day let’s take time to remember ALL our fallen service members and pledge our support to ALL actively serving military, reserve, guard, retired, and their families. They give their all to defend our rights, and we should do the same for all of them.
05-25-12 By CAPT April F. Heinze & Michael Magee, Co-Chairs, SLDN Board of Directors |
