Stories from the Frontlines: Former Navy Petty Officer Third Class, Joseph Rocha
“Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama” is a new media campaign launched to underscore the urgent need for congressional action and presidential leadership at this critical point in the fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). Every weekday morning as we approach the markup of the Defense Authorization bill in the Senate and House Armed Services Committees, SLDN and a coalition of voices supporting repeal, will share an open letter to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law. We are urging the President to include repeal in the Administration’s defense budget recommendations, but also to voice his support as we work to muster the 15 critical votes needed on the Senate Armed Services Committee to include repeal. The Defense Authorization bill represents the best legislative vehicle to bring repeal to the president’s desk. It also was the same vehicle used to pass DADT in 1993. By working together, we can help build momentum to get the votes! We ask that you forward and post these personal stories.
May 3, 2010
President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
After the recent letter by Secretary of Defense Robert Gates recommended the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” be delayed, this is my plea to you on the behalf of the soldiers serving in silence to end this law now:
I never wanted anything more in my life than to be a career officer. My entire childhood I was exposed to abuse, violence, and crime. I came out of it all with a simple, yet overwhelming desire to serve. When my first attempt at getting into the Naval Academy failed, I waited restlessly until I turned eighteen. I enlisted on my birthday and set off to prove myself to the Academy. I was eager to leave the cruelty of my past and join a true family.
I knew I was gay, but it was irrelevant to me then. I was determined to join an elite team of handlers working with dogs trained to detect explosives. As I studied hard to pass exams and complete training, I was convinced that the current law would protect me. I knew that based on merit and achievement I would excel in the military.
I never told anyone I was gay. But a year and a half later while serving in the Middle East, I was tormented by my chief and fellow sailors, physically and emotionally, as they had their suspicions. The irony of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is that it protects bigots and punishes gays who comply.
Shop talk in the unit revolved around sex, either the prostitute-filled parties of days past or the escapades my comrades looked forward to. They interpreted my silence and total lack of interest as an admission of homosexuality. My higher-ups seemed to think that gave them the right to bind me to chairs, ridicule me, hose me down and lock me in a feces-filled dog kennel.
On one day in the Middle East, I was ordered by a superior to get down on my hands and knees and simulate oral sex on a person working in the kennel. We were supposed to pretend that we were in our bedroom and that the dogs were catching us in the act. Over and over, with each of the dogs in our unit, I was forced to endure this scenario.
I told no one about what I was living through. I feared that reporting the abuse would lead to an investigation into my sexuality. Frankly, as we continue to delay the repeal of this horrible law, I can’t help but wonder how many people find themselves in similar, despicable situations and remain silent. My anger today doesn’t come from the abuse, but rather from the inhumanity of a standing law that allowed for it.
Three and a half years later when the Navy started investigating claims of hazing, I had finally earned my place at the Naval Academy Preparatory School. But instead of celebration, I began to question the life of persecution, degradation, and dishonor DADT had forced on me. I questioned the institution -- our great military -- that would condone and endorse this kind of treatment of its own members. The only thing I had ever done wrong was to want the same thing my straight counterparts wanted: a brotherhood and something to stand for.
At NAPS I realized that a career of service under DADT would be a forfeiture of my basic human rights. It would be a forfeiture of basic job security, peace of mind, and meaningful relationships, particularly with my fellow straight service members whom I was forced to deceive and betray.
After completing a six-week officer candidate boot camp, my commanders said they wanted to offer me a leadership role. But after what happened in the Middle East and even the suicide of my close friend, I was mentally and emotionally depleted. And so -- with my knees buckling -- I offered my statement of resignation in writing:
"I am a homosexual. I deeply regret that my personal feelings are not compatible with Naval regulations or policy. I am proud of my service and had hoped I would be able to serve the Navy and the country for my entire career. However, the principles of honor, courage and commitment mean I must be honest with myself, courageous in my beliefs, and committed in my action. I understand that this statement will be used to end my Naval career."
They say some people are just born designed for military service. It‘s the way we are wired, and the only thing that makes us happy. For too many of us, it‘s the only family we ever had. I am sure now, more than ever, after all the loss and hardship under DADT, that all I want to do is serve as a career military officer.
Mr. President, any delay in repeal is a clear signal to our troops that their gay brothers and sisters in arms are not equal to them. I plead that you take the lead -- fight for repeal -- and allow qualified men and women to serve their country.
Very respectfully,
Joseph Christopher Rocha
Former Petty Officer Third Class, U.S. Navy
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05-03-10
6 Comments
Comments for this entry are closed.Rebecca on May 24, 2010 at 09.57 pm
Joseph,
Thanks for your service. I heard about your story a few months ago and as the wife of a Navy Senior Chief, I was ashamed that members of our Navy family would treat you so terribly. I also used your story to reiterate to my 13-year old son why it is not okay to say “that’s so gay” in a derogatory manner. Hopefully, the future generations will view discrimination against gays the same way our generation views racial discrimination—not acceptable! Good luck to you and I sincerely hope DADT gets repealed soon. I knew some of my husband’s sailors over the years were “passing” as straight and felt so bad that they couldn’t be their true selves.
Stephen in Norfolk, VA on May 05, 2010 at 10.27 am
I’m always amazed reading MA3 Rocha’s story. I worked in the building adjacent to the kennels in Bahrain June ‘07-‘08 for the same Security command. I can’t believe someone could be treated like that and be in a position to have no voice. I am hopeful that our government will do what is right instead of what the moral majority feels. Currently reading Nathaniel Frank’s book UNFRIENDLY FIRE. It has been an eye opener. I hope the people in DC learn from history.
Bill on May 03, 2010 at 08.55 pm
Here is the original of the Gates letter referenced by Joseph Rocha:
http://www.metroweekly.com/articles/pdf/2010-04-30_news_5157.pdf
This is a poisonous letter. In “the strongest possible terms” both Mullen and Gates are giving Rep. Skelton, apparently one of the strongest homophobes in Congress, the ammunition to delay ending DADT indefinitely. All the necessary tasks, even after the unnecessary “study,” might even push change into 2012, a presidential election year. As usual, “forces” and “families” seem not to include LG forces and families.
Worst of all, this letter can only be considered a smoking gun that the commander-in-chief and his staff have given up on ending DADT in 2010. Presidential weakness is a formula for an even bigger Democratic loss in November, which in turn makes change in 2011 less likely than in 2010.
I hope I am wrong in all this. I hope a final push from all over the USA can overcome escalating resistance to ending DADT in this session of Congress.
Erik S. in Orlando,FL on May 03, 2010 at 07.38 pm
I joined the Navy on December 2009. Currently I am in a training command learning my rate. I joined because the election of a new government that promise to finally bring some dignity and honor to the armed forces by repealing DADT. My plan was simple, by the time I completed boot camp and my “A” school congress would have had plenty of time to repeal this. I have never led a secret life over who I am. My family, my friends, and members of my community have known about my orientation for many years.
It was only when I joined that I find myself going into a “closet” I’ve never been in before. But, I accepted this as a temporary burden because I was confident that this law would see its sunset soon.
With the events of the last 48 hours regarding this issue. It seems that there is now an increased possibility of this law remaining as is for the foreseeable future. Therefore I have made the following decision; If this is not repealed come November, I will no longer make a conscious choice to lie about who I am. I will, for the first time be able to live by the Navy core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment. Values that I am not able to fully integrate into my military life because of this policy. I am fully aware that this may bring about an end to a career that is in its infancy. But I will not compromise my dignity for political cowardliness.
Thank you MA3 Rocha for your service and courage.
Sincerely;
AN Erik S.
Edward Myhro in Lincoln, CA on May 03, 2010 at 04.55 pm
I am sorry that you had to go through that humiliating treatment. I am gay, but have never been in the armed forces.
I also feel this law needs to be done away with. I learned much later in life that we MUST be true to ourselves and not have to fear how we are going to be treated.
When and if it ever comes to giving your life for your country, a gay person is not going to die any differently than a straight one.
Thank you for your service to our country and perhaps you can serve again when DADT is done away with forever!
Edward R. Myhro
Ryan M. on May 03, 2010 at 03.31 pm
Joseph,
Thank you for your service and for offering your story.
Your story is tragic and it is absolutely horrible that you had to live through such an ordeal.
I am also a veteran - a straight veteran who shares your view of this policy. It is absolutely shameful that our military, the institution that protects our freedoms, does not afford the same freedoms to its servicemembers.
It is simply an embarrassment. What is more of an embarrassment now, though, is how long the Pentagon is planning on taking with its assessment. Furthermore, the Pentagon’s desire to delay legislative action on the issue oversteps its role in government.
The Administration has said that it wants to do it “soon and right”. “(Repeal) is the right thing to do.” Yet, I guess doing the right thing is easily pushed back in the face of opposition. By definition, failing to do what is right in the face of opposition is an act of cowardice - or lacking in courage.
What I don’t get - the Pentagon wants to determine “how” best to repeal DADT. I’m not sure how many options there could be on “how” to do it. Maybe they are going to poll people on whether to throw a big Pizza party when open service is finally allowed.
How?! You make a new personnel policy, train leaders on it, train soldiers on it and require that your leaders enforce it. If the policy is violated, then troops are held to account. The Pentagon seems to imply that troop views will shape the policy—but that should absolutely not be the study’s purpose.
Sure, a study has benefits—but primarily, I think it is to identify units like yours—those where there are extreme attitude issues. And, the purpose of the study will be to get leadership to address such problem-units as repeal is enforced.
Again, thank you for your service—hopefully your story will help make a difference.
-R