Telling a Story: Asking for Support
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was enacted at exactly the same time that I was becoming fully aware of my sexuality. In 1993, I was a freshman in high school in rural Iowa. I already had crushes on a few of my fellow male classmates, and heard that “I was gay” by more than a few others.
The passing of DADT, and the subsequent media coverage and discussions around the dinner table, brought something very personal for me out into the open. As I listened to my parents and other adults’ opinions on the subject I didn’t always agree with what I heard, but I did my best to understand the issue at hand and kept quiet, thinking that their opinion on gay people serving openly in the military might also in some way be a judgment on yours truly.
Fast forward 16 years to 2010, after nearly a decade of campaigning and fundraising for LGBT equality in London, Los Angeles and New York. Through my volunteer and fundraising work for various LGBT organizations, I had taken on many issues affecting our community as my own. Seemingly, I had become a “jack of all causes” – but was concerned with also becoming a master of none.
By joining the staff of SLDN, I am receiving a crash course on DADT, as well as the variable nature of public discourse surrounding it and the path to repeal. As I learn about this issue, I am reminded of those dinner table conversations about “gays in the military.” And once again, as I listen to others’ opinions on the subject, I don’t always agree with what I hear, but I do my best to understand. The difference, however, is that now I do not remain silent.
Now, as a Major Gifts Officer, I am responsible for speaking with others about the issue, informing them about our mission and services, and garnering their support. It is work that I find challenging and very fulfilling.
Even though I am young and seem to have less experience with politics and public policy than almost everyone else in this city, I have lived long enough to know that it is empowering to be honest about who you are. DADT is discriminatory and simply cannot withstand the arc of our nation’s history bending toward justice for all.
There will be a day when DADT comes to an end, but until that day comes I will continue to tell our stories and ask for your support.
02-05-10 By Joshua Tjaden, Major Gifts Officer |
2 Comments
Comments for this entry are closed.Bill on February 15, 2010 at 10.53 pm
Jushua— Thanks for joining the staff of SLDN. There is no better group for you to work with.
Long after DADT ends, you will need to continue to “tell our stories and ask for (our) support.” I believe homophobia to be normal but bad. It will continue even after all pernicious laws are ended. As was mentioned in an SLDN blog some time ago, you will still have a job even after we all get freedom and full American citizenship. Just look at Jews and African Americans. Ending legal discrimination doesn’t end the hate that comes from deep internal fears. Some will continue to hate us until the cows come in, and our need to educate and persist will never end.
JT in the Army in Iraq on February 05, 2010 at 12.51 pm
Mr. Tjaden-
As another person who grew up in rural Iowa, I want to thank you for taking this position to help in the fight to end DADT.
I grew up hearing from the same people that didn’t think gays should be in the military that I could do anything in life that I wanted to. How contradictory. And how ironic that some of those same people are the biggest supporters of me while I am deployed.
I want to spend time in my hometown in Iowa after my deployment, and show my partner where I grew up, but with DADT in place I feel estranged from bringing him along.
Hopefully a day will come when that advice I was given long ago in Iowa rings true and I can do whatever I want to do in life, without worry that who I love could cause that to end.