Frontlines: The Latest from OutServe-SLDN

The Power of Moms

This morning's Detroit News includes a story by columnist Deb Price about the impact of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" on families, and the extraordinary courage of three moms who have joined the fight to lift the ban. Price profiles Nancy Manzella, the mother of gay Army medic Darren Manzella; Dorothy Hajdys (pictured), the mother of Navy Sailor Allen Schindler, who was murdered in 1992 by fellow service members in Japan; and Patricia Kutteles, mother of Barry Winchell, a soldier murdered in 1999 at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. From Deb's story: "His father and I are very proud of him," says Nancy, whose son [Darren] came out in 2006 to his superiors and fellow soldiers after receiving threats he'd be outed. "Darren really wants to continue serving his country. But he doesn't want to live a lie." Patricia Kutteles, Barry's mom, and Dorothy Hadjys, Allen's mom, share a more painful story: Their sons were killed in anti-gay assaults. Allen was kicked and beaten so badly that Dorothy identified his body by a tattoo on his arm. "I made up my mind that I wasn't going to let this happen to any other mother's son," says Dorothy, who still takes anti-depressants to try to cope with her loss. "If I stayed quiet, I would have just been giving up on Allen. "People think once a trial is over, that it's all over. But not for the family. You just can't go on with your life." Patricia's son, Barry, was beaten to death in 1999 by a fellow soldier who assumed he was gay because he was dating a male-to-female transgender dancer. "Barry's murder changed my whole life. You don't get over it," says Patricia, who gives an award each year to a service member or other leader in the effort to repeal the ban. "The hardest part was taking Barry off the respirator. He was brain dead. It was difficult to think that someone could join the military to represent their country and yet be murdered because of their perceived sexual orientation." "'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' doesn't just hurt gay men and women in uniform," Price writes. "Congress needs to hear first-hand about the pain it causes their moms and dads." To read the complete Detroit News story, click here. - Steve Ralls

Labels: Allen Schindler, Barry Winchell, Darren Manzella, Deb Price, families, in the news, sldn clients

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01-28-08