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Daily Mississippian: Don’t Ask, Do Tell

Jamie Barnett

Navy Captain Joan Darrah left the Pentagon only moments before the plane hit at 9:37 a.m., striking the office where she had just been. The blast killed the people she had been meeting with. She rushed back to her office a few blocks away and spent hours on the telephone with distraught Navy families. That’s when the secret she had been keeping hit her in the heart.

Captain Darrah was an outstanding naval officer for over 28 years – but if she had been killed in that Pentagon office, no one from the Navy would have called the person she loved because the person she loved and lived with for 11 years was a woman. Even a hint that Joan loved Lynne could have led to Joan’s immediate discharge under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the law allowing gays and lesbians to serve in the military as long as they are not open about their sexuality.

I am a heterosexual male, retired Navy Rear Admiral and a native Mississippian. Nothing in my heritage or experience should make me care about repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” But I DO care. Why? Because I know Joan and so many exemplary patriots like her who are gay or lesbian. That’s why I am working with the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network to repeal this law.

The Pentagon now fully recognizes that military readiness of our service members depends on the love of families. When our wounded warriors come home, families provide one crucial treatment: the healing embrace of loved ones ... unless you are one of the estimated 65,000 gays and lesbians currently serving in uniform. In that case, your loved one might not even be able to visit you in the hospital for fear that someone could discover your secret.

It’s wrong. It is not honorable to accept the sacrifice of gays and lesbians and not afford them the same respect and care as other military members. Each service extols honor as a core value, but this is not an honorable way to treat these patriots.

It’s wrong for our military, too. We have spent hundreds of millions of defense dollars throwing out people whose skills we desperately need: Arabic translators, pilots and master sergeants. Thousands of gays and lesbians leave the service each year on their own because they don’t want to endure the unfairness. All of this during a time when military recruiting is struggling. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is patently unfair, but it is also militarily unaffordable.

I grew up in a time when racial segregation was transitioning to integration. The arguments against gays and lesbians serving openly echo with the same unfulfilled fear and prejudice leveled against blacks back then. Polls show most Americans don’t care about the sexual orientation of the men and women who fight for them. So why are we spending so much in dollars and human costs to prop up an indefensible situation?

We are being unfair to people who are serving and sacrificing for us. Respect for military service runs deep where I come from. It is time this value be applied to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” for our military readiness and out of respect for the military service of patriots like Joan.

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