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Gay Wired: Proudly Out: Serving in Silence No Longer

Something extraordinary happening last Wednesday on Capitol Hill—the House Armed Services Committee’s Military Personnel Subcommittee held the first hearing in 15 years on the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

The last time Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell hearings were held former Georgia democratic senator Sam Nunn led his homophobic cavalry on a witch hunt using every gay as sexual predator stereotype in the book to undermine President Bill Clinton’s efforts to lift the ban on gays in the military.

Using the bunks of a submarine as a backdrop, Nunn raised the specter of unassuming straights sleeping next to closeted gays. He left the rest to homophobic imaginations that conjured images of gays groping their straight comrades in the night and straights too scared to drop the soap in the showers.

It never occurred to Nunn that gay soldiers could be just as professional—perhaps even more so given the pressure they were under—than straight soldiers. Besides, after a hard day of duty gay soliders are just as tired as straight soldiers. All they want is a good night’s sleep so that they can get up the next morning and serve with honor.

It has taken 15 years and over 12,000 discharges of capable, professional and honorable lesbian or gay service members for Congress to finally decide to take another look at Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

The members of Congress who want to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell have the public on their side. A recent Washington Post-ABC poll found that 75 percent of Americans think gays and lesbians should be able to serve openly. In 2001, 62 percent thought we should be out in the military up from 44 percent in 1993 when this whole flap began.

Last week's hearing featured retired Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, the first person injured in Iraq, and Joan Darrah, a retired Naval captain.

Alva, who lost his right leg after stepping on a land mine, was not out to his superiors but he was out to his unit. And, they didn’t care. His unit’s cohesion didn’t erode one bit. Alva was a respected leader and when hurt his comrades risked their own lives to save him.

Alva told the committee: "The land mine may have put an end to my military career, but it didn't put an end to my secret. That would come years later, when I realized that I had fought and nearly died to secure rights for others that I myself was not free to enjoy."

Joan Darrah, one the other hand, left the military of her own accord but not without a lot of soul searching. When I first spoke with Darrah a few years ago she told me the chilling story of leaving the Pentagon on 9-11 just moments before one of the planes crashed into the part of the building where she had been meeting with staff.If she had stayed a few moments longer, Darrah wouldn’t have been around to testify yesterday but even more importantly no one would have known to contact her partner because no one in the Navy knew she had a partner because she couldn’t come out under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

I spoke to Darrah late Wednesday night about the hearings. She told me that the fight to repeal the discriminatory policy is “a battle only people no longer serving can fight. I’m honored to advocate on behalf of my shipmates who are serving in silence.”

She explained that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell needs to be replaced with a policy of non-discrimination that treats everyone equally and that military personnel would only be judged on their performance not on their personal lives.

Darrah is unabashed about her love of the military life. But it is a life she tells young gays and lesbians who want to serve not to enter. “I can’t in good conscience recommend to a young person to join and then have to lie about himself,” she said.

The bill to overturn Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has 143 sponsors in the House. If Barack Obama is elected, don’t expect repealing the policy to be his first order of business—we’ve learned from our mistakes.

“We want to do this methodically,” Darrah said. “We need to build bi-partisan support in the Senate. Times have changed dramatically. Support for gays in the military has increased. It’s better to take a little longer and hopefully within two years we’ll celebrate the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Spoken like a true military leader.

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